By Melissa Williams, LCSW // Executive Director
If you’re ready to move forward with adoption this year, I recommend three things that will help you make your adoption dreams a reality:
1) Ditch your excuses.
Once you’ve decided you want to adopt, stop thinking about the reasons it’s not going to work. Take those discouraging thoughts (“No birth parent would pick me,” “There’s no way I can afford it,” “Maybe I’m not cut out for parenting”) and replace them with positive thoughts. “There is a birth parent out there who is looking for someone just like me.” “I will find a way to raise the money for this adoption.” “I can learn more about parenting—and when I have a child, I’ll practice what I’ve learned every day!” Spend time figuring out how to make it work. Don’t hesitate on the path. Move forward boldly.
2) Take action.
Now take those positive thoughts and turn them into action! But don’t let everything you need to do overwhelm you. You know the old saying . . . How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Just do one thing at a time and you’ll eventually find that you’ve completed your journey. I recommend doing just one thing each day.
Daily tasks you might consider:
- Create a list of questions to ask adoption agencies.
- Create a form that will allow you to compare and contrast agencies that you’re interested in.
- Call one adoption agency and ask your questions.
- Locate one piece of documentation required for your home study.
- Complete one page of your home study paperwork.
- Order a book about an adoption-related topic of your choice! (Parenting, transracial parenting, open adoption, or fundraising.)
- Read a chapter of a book related to your goals.
- Make one adoption-related phone call.
- Research fundraising options and choose one.
- Make a to-do list for your fundraiser.
- Complete an item on your fundraising to-do list!
- Create a small portion of your adoption profile.
- Make an appointment to get your fingerprints or your physical completed for your home study.
- Call your caseworker with a question.
- Attend an adoption education class.
- Check in with your caseworker (don’t do this every day, though!)
- Share your desire to adopt with at least one other person.
- Write a note to your future child or jot down a few sentences about where you’re at in your adoption journey.
- Read an article or a chapter of a book about an adoption topic of your choice. (Open adoption, transracial parenting, attachment, parenting.)
- Consider starting a Waiting Bucket!
- Make edits to your adoption profile.
3) Stay positive.
Waiting for an adoption to happen is hard, but keeping your chin up and choosing to be positive can make all the difference for you during this challenging time. I recommend that you find at least one thing each day that you are thankful for, celebrate in the adoption successes of others, and trust that what is supposed to happen, will happen.