When an adoption placement falls through, you may find yourself trying to pick up the broken pieces of your heart, wondering how to cope. In this video, these four adoptive parents talk about what helped them through their own adoption losses. Their recommendations include:
1) Prioritize the well-being of expectant parents.
Understand that expectant parents are doing their best to make an enormous, life-shattering decision in a short amount of time. Know that they’re not trying to hurt you when they question whether or not to place, but rather that they’re trying to make the best possible decision for their babies and themselves.
2) Trust that things will work out eventually.
Know that the right situation will eventually come along, and the child who was meant for your family will find his or her way into your arms.
3) Allow yourself to grieve.
While an adoption loss can seem intangible, know that it is very real. Allow yourself to process your grief and feel all the accompanying emotions that come along with it.
4) Use your loss to develop empathy.
Experiencing a difficult loss can help you understand the grief that your child’s birth parents will experience after placement. It can also help you support friends experiencing similar loss. Remember: adversity can harden your heart or soften it. Choose to allow it to soften it.