These four adoptive parents talk about why they chose open adoption . . . and why they wouldn’t want it any other way.
Jessie knew right away that she wanted an open adoption. She says making this choice wasn’t hard after she mentally put herself in the position of both an adoptee and a birth mother, imagining what she would want in their respective positions.
At first, Cydnee was hesitant about open adoption. It was new and unfamiliar and she and her husband weren’t sure if openness was something they were comfortable with. However, over time she found that opening herself up to the adoption community helped soften her heart toward open adoption and understand its benefits for everyone involved.
She emphasizes that it’s essential for adoptive parents to set aside your insecurities and make it about the child (which, she adds, is what the birth parents are doing when they choose adoption)
Amanda chose open adoption because she wanted her children to know they were always loved, “That this was a big decision that was made for them.”
“We love our birth moms!” “I could not fathom not having a relationship with her. I could not fathom not knowing that she was okay.”
Having connections to our birth parents keep me grounded in the understanding of the magnitude of their sacrifices and a humbling gratitude at the gift of being a father. He adds, “It doesn’t make me any less of a father. It just helps me stay grateful.”
Some benefits of open adoption that came up during this discussion include:
-More family! These birth families love their kids’ birth parents and are grateful to have them in their lives.
-A solid foundation for the adopted child’s developing identity. In knowing their biological family members, kids have an opportunity to understand more fully where they come from.
-Direct access for questions. When children ask tough questions about their adoptions, their birth parents can be on hand to help them understand they what and the why.