You are sitting in your bedroom staring at a pregnancy test. You check and recheck the results thee times—it feels like a dream. The room feels like it is melting away from around you. The two lines staring back at you prompt what feels like a million decisions that are demanding an answer. What now? 

An unexpected pregnancy brings with it trials that you never thought you’d have to face. Fortunately, it also brings an opportunity to become stronger and happier—but not without help. You need support to navigate the next stages of your pregnancy and life after pregnancy. As you contemplate your options you’ll begin to find that a professional can help guide your decision making. 

Adoption San Antonio may not be the first option that comes to mind when you learn of your pregnancy, but it is definitely one to consider. Don’t let the fear of the unknown deter you from learning about the process. How does San Antonio adoption work? It starts with learning about your options. From there, you will make an adoption plan, work with an adoption agency, pick and family, and finalize the adoption legally. 

Evaluate Options For Adoption San Antonio

There are three primary options for expectant parents facing an unplanned pregnancy: parenting, abortion, and adoption. Your decision of these three options will be dependent on your current and anticipated future circumstances. When you think of the expectant mother who is facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may picture a teenage girl who is not yet ready to parent. But there are also many women in their adult years who unexpectedly become pregnant and must consider their options moving forward. 

Parenting

Young or old; single, dating, or married; parenting or not; anyone who is facing an unplanned pregnancy may not always consider parenting as an ideal option. The choice to parent may not come easy to some, but for others, it could be possible and best for that individual and family. When considering this option, think about your current goals and aspirations for a future with and without a child. What resources are available to you to make that plan successful? No one can look into your future and make your decision for you, but there are people and professionals familiar with a case like yours who can help. 

Abortion

Abortion is an option for women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy. The decision to terminate a pregnancy does not come easy. For women who are victims of a sexual crime that resulted in a pregnancy, this option is considered as an attempt to mitigate future mental and emotional crises related to the crime. There are also women who will turn to abortion when they find that a pregnancy will not align with their lifestyle or future plans. Because abortion is a serious procedure with physical and emotional consequences, women benefit greatly from speaking with an unbiased medical professional and/or counselor before making a final decision about abortion. 

Adoption

Parenting and abortion are not always an option for a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy. Adoption offers an incredible opportunity to carry a child to term and carry on without the responsibilities of parenthood after birth. Adoption gives expectant parents the choice to legally place a child in the home of a family who will raise that child as their own. There are many reasons why someone may choose adoption for his or her child. Fortunately, it is never too late to make an adoption plan and there are many resources online. 

An options counselor, like those offered at The Gladney Center For Adoption, can help you learn more about all of these options. Their goal is to help you find peace in your life by making an informed decision about your future. The Gladney Center For Adoption is one of many resources for professional counseling and unbiased information. 

Make A Pregnancy Plan

After you’ve started down the path of decision making for adoption San Antonio, you’ll want to start setting realistic expectations. The moment you discovered you were pregnant, a countdown began. The months ahead will be full of decisions to make, bridges to cross, and hurdles to clear. For some, making a pregnancy plan and an adoption plan can keep you on track to the next stage in your life. 

A pregnancy plan can be your road map before placement. This plan will be a guide for navigating doctor’s appointments, managing finances, working with an agency, and hospital arrangements. Start by determining your general and specific needs for your pregnancy. Think about your resources already available to you, any medical needs you have, and any potential issues you may encounter along the way. If you already have a doctor, reach out to him or her to start scheduling your pregnancy-related appointments. You may choose to share your adoption plans with your doctor now or later depending on where you are at in the process. If you already have insurance and a means of affording medical care, maternity clothing, and other pregnancy-related products, then you may want to create a budget to manage these financial needs as they come up. If you are anticipating some issues with financial management throughout your pregnancy, speak with your adoption agency about finding support during this time. An adoption agency will be your guide as you approach your adoption option. These professionals can answer your questions about adoption. They will also introduce you to potential families that can adopt your child. When the time comes for the birth, you will make a birth plan that will help you set appropriate expectations for that day. You will decide who is in the room, when you will contact the adoptive family, and when you will sign the adoption papers. 

Pregnancy is not easy. Whether you are considering adoption for your child or not, there will be joyous times throughout your pregnancy, but there will also be hard times. Don’t shy away from embracing your pregnancy, making a plan, and reaching out for support when you need it. 

Make an Adoption Plan

Your pregnancy is just one aspect of your adoption journey. The next major milestone you will need to plan for is the placement process. The family that you place your child with will be chosen based on your preferences and standards for your child. Think about what kind of life you want to offer your child. Perhaps religion, lifestyle, location, and family structure influenced your life’s journey and you want the same for your child. Start by making a list of characteristics you need, the qualities you want, and deal-breakers for your child’s adoptive family. This will be a helpful tool later on when you begin searching parent profiles to pick a family. 

Once you’ve started to consider what kind of family you want to place your child with, start to think about what type of communication you’d prefer to have with your child post-placement. The two options that are commonly referred to in the adoption community are open and closed adoption. Open adoption allows for more common contact between the biological and adoptive families while a closed adoption keeps all information private throughout the adoption process and post-placement. 

Open adoption San Antonio arrangements are specific to each adoption triad (adoptive family, biological family, and adoptee). Depending on the needs of each party, communication may be more or less frequent. Some families prefer to keep visits and calls at once or twice a year. Other families may choose to invite the biological parents to several events throughout the year and have frequent phone calls

Closed adoptions are less common. In a closed adoption, the identity and personal information of both biological and adoptive families are sealed in the adoption paperwork. Families may choose this approach when the birth mother prefers to keep her life private from her child until that child is old enough to understand more about what adoption is when the safety of the adoptee is a question, or for any other case-specific reasons. 

Work With An Adoption Agency

Adoption agencies are a great resource for biological and adoptive families. The purpose of an adoption agency is to assist potential birth mothers throughout pregnancy and help adoptive families and biological mothers connect. This process is made possible through adoption professionals who are experienced in a field many will only work with once or twice in their lives. This may be the only time that you will ever place a child for adoption. But, because of an adoption agency, you do not have to figure it out by yourself. Adoption teams like those from The Gladney Center for Adoption are trained to help you physically and emotionally through the adoption process. They will direct you to the most reliable resources for medical help. They will find you financial assistance. Once the child is placed, they can even help you with post-placement counseling and taking your next step toward your future.

When working with hopeful adoptive families, adoption agencies can also offer a great source for information and resources. The adoption process can be particularly long for an individual, couple, or family looking to adopt. This is because the adoption of a child presents so many liabilities. An adoption application must be filled out before the process can even begin. This application is the first of many forms that will be collected and reviewed before someone or a couple can be cleared to adopt. As the process progresses, the family will also engage in a home study. A home study is a report of a family, the home a child will be placed in, and the general community that will surround the child after placement. These studies are meant to determine eligibility for adoption. 

Adoption agencies will help both biological and hopeful adoptive parents prepare for adoption. Once those preparations have been completed, they will also help the two parties connect. Adoption agencies typically use a form of parent profiles to collect and share information about families that are interested and eligible to adopt. Expectant mothers who are considering placing a child for adoption can look through these profiles to choose a family. Based on her standards and plans for her child’s life along with what many birth mothers describe as an undeniable moment of knowing they’ve found their child’s family, she will make a decision. 

Adoption Day

Finalizing your adoption is emotional. Preparing for the day of the birth, placement, and finalization is essential as it comes closer. To best prepare for the day of the birth, you will have made a birth plan with your adoption agency. This plan will prepare you, your doctor, and the adoptive family for what to expect after birth. Communicating your plan and intentions for adoption beforehand with all those involved will help the day go by that much smoother. Placing a child is not to be taken lightly. Maybe you want to hold your baby and spend some time with him or her before placement. Some mothers choose to nurse their babies before placing them with the adoptive family. Other mothers will choose to have the child taken from the room after the birth. The choice is yours and it will not be wrong. 

Depending on the state you live in, give birth in, and/or place your child in, there will be different adoption laws that govern the time period before a biological parent can sign the placement paperwork. Until the paperwork is signed, the child will legally belong to the biological parent. No matter what commitments or plans were made prior to the birth, the biological mother can always change her mind before that paperwork is signed. You will also choose beforehand who you’d like in the room with you when you sign this paperwork

Once the paperwork is signed and according to your adoption plan, the child will then be placed with the adoptive family. Some families will be invited to the hospital while others will meet with a caseworker at a different location to pick up their child. After a number of post-placement visits and paperwork are moved around, the family will then go to family court to have the adoption finalized by a judge.

Your adoption journey will be unique and special because you, and your child, and your adoptive family are unique and special. Nothing could ever take away from both the tragedy and joy the adoption process introduces in someone’s life. Luckily, there are resources, professionals, support groups, and more that will hold your hand and walk with you along the way. You are one step closer to your destination and finding peace in your own adoption journey. 

Courtney Falk was adopted at 3 days old. Growing up in a home where adoption was discussed openly, she always had a passion for sharing her story. When she was 18, she reunited with both of her birth parents and continues to have a positive relationship with each of their families. She went on to earn a Bachelor of Arts in English with an emphasis in professional writing. Since then, she’s had the opportunity to create and edit content in areas such as fitness, health and wellness, financing, and adoption. When she isn’t behind a book, you can find her dancing in the living room with her 11 nieces, attempting to cook, and tending to her extensive collection of house plants.