When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, it is normal to be in a state of shock. There will likely be a time when things seem hopeless or when decisions don’t make sense. The decision of whether to place a child for adoption or parent them could be one of the hardest decisions you ever make. It may, in fact, feel like an impossible decision. That is why it is most important, during this time, to find out who is in your corner and who you can confide in for help in making this life-altering decision.
The first issue to address is, understand that you are not “giving up” your child if that is the route you choose to go. It is well-understood that placing a child for adoption could be one of the hardest things you ever do. Placements usually come from places of great love for a child but they may simply feel unable to parent the child. Choosing to parent a child also typically comes from a place of great love. It is a matter of deciding which is the best choice for you and your child.
In reality, anyone can help you make the decision about whether you should parent or place your child for adoption. The question lies more in the fact that you need to decide who you want or trust, to help you make that decision. If there is a partner involved, it may be your significant other who helps you make the decision and should be involved, if the situation allows.
It may also be helpful to contact an adoption agency for information. A good, ethical adoption agency will not pressure you to choose adoption. An agency is a good place to find out what the process would look like and what options are available to you. They may also ask what your preferences are regarding an open or closed adoption.
You may also consider speaking with your immediate family regarding your decision to parent or place your child for adoption. If you have close family members, they may be able to offer some ideas of the kind of support, if any, you will have if you choose to parent. Their answer may surprise you and also influence your decision greatly in one direction or another. Speaking with those closest to you and getting educated on what adoption options are available is the best course to help you make an informed decision.
Lita Jordan is a master of all things “home.” A work-from-home, stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of five, she has a BA in Youth Ministry from Spring Arbor University. She is married to the “other Michael Jordan” and lives on coffee and its unrealistic promises of productivity. Lita enjoys playing guitar and long trips to Target. Follow her on Facebook.