Finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant can be extremely overwhelming. During such a time, support is needed from family and friends.

As a parent, the most important thing you can do for your daughter is to simply be there.

If your daughter is considering placing her child for adoption as an alternative for abortion, you can offer to go with her to her consultation at an agency. Take her lead in these matters, though. Encourage her to write a list of questions down beforehand so that she doesn’t forget anything once she gets there. If she wants you to go with her, let it be her appointment. You are there for moral support, not to take charge. If she wants to go alone or with the father of the child, you need to respect her wishes during this time.

Help her gather as much info as you can about her options.

She will likely be feeling rather emotional, and it will be very helpful for you to provide her with educational materials.

Become educated about open adoption.

Open adoptions are becoming an increasingly popular option as they allow birth parents to watch the child grow and allow the child to know who and where they came from. Many view it to be a much more well-rounded experience for the child. Open adoption isn’t for everyone, but it is an option worth considering.

Allow your child to make her own decision.

As her parent, you will probably feel an overwhelming need to advise your daughter, but please do not push. Placing a child for adoption would need to be 100% her decision. If she feels like she is backed into a corner or forced to make that choice, she will likely never recover from the experience emotionally. Placing a child can be one of the hardest decisions a person can make in life. It should only be made when the mother is at peace with the situation.

Considering adoption? Choose a family to adopt your child. Visit Parent Profiles on or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. 

Ashley Foster is a freelance writer. She is a wife and a mother of two, currently residing in Florida. She loves taking trips to the beach with her husband and sons. As an infant, she was placed with a couple in a closed adoption. Ashley was raised with two sisters who were also adopted. In 2016, she was reunited with her biological family. She advocates for adoptees’ rights and DNA testing for those who are searching for family. Above all, she is thankful that she was given life.