Perhaps I remember the moment because of the shock effect. I was late. Although we used protection, I knew that “it” could still happen. “It” just couldn’t happen to me, right? Taking a pregnancy test was just a formality before I went to find out why I was really late. Before I saw it, in black and white on that little screen: “Pregnant.” Pretty foolproof, which is why I bought that brand. There was no mistaking that the line was faint or anything like that. The word screamed at me; I thought I would go deaf from the noise. I would say it took all I had to show the soon-to-be father, but my body stood, walked into my room, tossed the test on his lap, and sat down in complete and utter defeat. It wasn’t until I heard his next words that I was brought back into reality: “So will you get an abortion?”
I was raised in a household where abortion wasn’t really an option except in cases like rape, incest, or where the pregnancy could kill the mother. That answer always seemed so easy to me. I don’t mind that other people don’t think the same way I do. I understand that choosing abortion can be a hard choice as well. However, for me it was never an option. A new life was growing inside me, and I felt a deep-rooted, instinctual, evolutionary need to nourish it.
I chose adoption instead of abortion for a few reasons. I needed to know that I was doing everything I could to provide a good life for that child. To put it crudely, I couldn’t justify ending my child’s potential for life. I fell in love with that baby the moment I knew he existed. On top of those reasons, I could not be a good mother and father figure for that baby. The soon-to-be father was gone as soon as I told him I wouldn’t abort, and being a single mother meant my child would be raised by someone else while I worked two jobs to pay for us to survive. Which led me to adoption.
Because of adoption, my son has a father he can throw a ball with in the backyard. He has a home with two loving parents and a sister. He plays soccer like a champion, something I couldn’t have been able to afford for him. Nor could I have attended his games, simply because I would be working during the hours of play. Because of adoption, my son has the chance to take Chinese lessons. He has fallen in love with books because his parents are home enough to read to him. He has a life, one that obviously could not have happened if I had chosen abortion.
Because I chose adoption instead of abortion, the world has one more life in it to make it a better place. Because I chose adoption, my heart is full of the love of knowing that my son is making an impact on the people around him.
Written by Kirsti Bagley