Choosing to place a child for adoption is a very personal decision. It takes a lot of thought and soul searching to know if it’s right for your child. Even after looking at all your options and considering your circumstances, everyone’s conclusion will be different.
When I got pregnant unexpectedly, I had to go over everything I wanted and expected for my children, and if the circumstances I was currently in were going to fit that standard. Some of my standards and expectations were:
– A steady father figure
– The means to supply the necessities of life
– An education to get a better job to provide for him
– A safe environment
There were plenty of other requirements, but just those were reason enough to place my child. I definitely didn’t want to place him, but when it comes down to it, I was dealing with another person’s life; it’s not a time to be selfish and think about what we, as birth mothers, will miss out on. It’s more so about what your child will miss out on. Mine would have missed out on a father (or any sort of positive male figure for that matter), food on the table every night, new clothes when he grew out of them, a mom who had the time and knowledge to help him with his homework. He would have had an extremely rough life being with me.
This is not to say that my standards should be everyone else’s standards, or that those who choose adoption couldn’t have parented. I considered things I couldn’t forgive myself for withholding from him. All children deserve the best, and I couldn’t give the best to him. That is ultimately how I knew I needed to place him. If you set the bar and see where you fit on it, keeping their wellbeing in mind, you’ll do the right thing. No choice you make will be easy, but if you do what you know is right for that child you love so much, it will have been the easiest choice.
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