How Do I Help My Child through Negative Adoption Feelings?

All I can do is explain to you how I felt about my adoption when I was growing up. I still have the same thoughts on the subject even now that I have been reunited with my birth family. You have the life that you were meant to have. Everything happens for a reason. Life is the luck of the draw sometimes. It’s easier for adoptees to assume that their life would have been better if they had stayed with their biological family. Most of the time, that is not the case.

Making the choice to place a child for adoption is not an easy thing. Such a decision is usually not made lightly. The birth mother genuinely knew or believed that she was not the proper person to care for her child. Because of that choice, your child ended up with you. Your child may have feelings of rejection or resentment, but it’s important for him or her to let that go.

In life you get what you get. The important part is what you choose to do with it. Your child can choose to be a victim or choose to take an active part in making sure he has the amazing life he deserves. Maybe your child was set on that path in order to help others in similar situations.

Your child’s placement happened years ago. It is important to leave that in the past. That situation is not a burden he needs to carry forever. Do whatever you need to in order for your child to realize it was not because of him that it happened, but for him. The adoption happened because of the great love that all of you had for him. Not all kids are fortunate enough to have so many people care. In my book that doesn’t make him unwanted; it makes him lucky.

Ashley Foster is a freelance writer. She is a wife and mother of two currently residing in Florida. She loves taking trips to the beach with her husband and sons. As an infant, she was placed with a couple in a closed adoption. Ashley was raised with two sisters who were also adopted. In 2016, she was reunited with her biological family. She advocates for adoptees’ rights and DNA testing for those who are searching for family. Above all, she is thankful that she was given life. You can read her blog at //ashleysfoster.blogspot.com/.