It’s not easy to overcome the trauma of adoption, but the truth is, you have to allow yourself to experience the beauty of having a family of your own.
I knew you, deep within the womb where you held me close to your heart,
I could hear the rhythms, like a drum, yet I was born to play a different part.
As if my own symphony and the vocalist was a voice beyond the placenta walls,
You were there, and I expected you to catch me when I would fall out of the safety of the womb.
However, once they cut the cord, I entered a world that felt like a tomb,
Abandoned, Abused, Neglected they would say,
to describe the baby that you sold away.
Mother are you out there; Father do you care,
if I am alone, in a world where I am scared,
Adoption was the only choice,
in a world where kids have no voice.
Sudden changes, names on folders, passed through the system.
Cry a little louder, then grow silent and quiet your emotions as they dismiss them.
Growing older and seeing kids
Excited to go home because someone cares that he or she lived.
Grab your jacket a little tighter;
Hear all the labels, but you’re a fighter.
Every once in a while you’ll hear that rhythm of your mom’s heartbeat,
Only you can’t get it back, and so at times, you weep.
The world asks why, and you don’t know how to speak.
Perhaps, describe the dreams that you have,
That is time to let die,
It’s the moment they accepted you into a place of your own
A family, a safety net, where you are no longer alone,
You may struggle to let down your guard, or remembering your free
From all of the labels, but now remember you have your adopted family.
Even in your family you still hold the scars,
You look into the faces of your loved ones and wonder, how we grew up so far apart.
So much trauma in adoption and most won’t speak about it.
However, you can be different and climb out of the pit.
You can choose to love and open your arms to your adoptive parents’ love.
You can choose the joy of tearing down the labels and leaving your true identity ungloved.
Step up to the plate, and overcome the trauma.
Take in the first moments you get to say, dad or mama.
Take in every story that tells you the tale
Of your adoptive family, and allow new stories to be formed and prevail.
So that you can overcome the adoption produced trauma
Because you will get so much more than systems, abuse, and drama.
You matter, and you were wished to be in this world.
So every opportunity you get to shine your light, cast it forth and let it swirl,
For it may brighten someone’s day seeing that you could overcome
The trauma of adoption with a battle won.
You are not another statistic, so let those labels perish.
When you think of that old heartbeat, listen for the new melodies,
Some of the soul tunes can be created by adoptive families.
When you want to reject, don’t, choose to accept your family. When you want to run away and hide, don’t, sit and learn new stories, make new memories, and fight to trust that you are loved and valued. Don’t aim low in life, shoot for the stars. Remember they chose you to love, and can you choose to love, so step out to be brave and take risks. Remind the world you are more than a label or a statistic; you are a person with worth and value. If you ever felt like you didn’t have a voice, remember you do now, use it to let your loved ones into your heart. Most importantly, you can overcome the trauma of adoption by learning to simply be you, the you that you were created to be.
Jacqueline Turner is a worldwide sensation. She is a graduate of William Jessup University and is currently finishing her master’s degree in leadership at Western Seminary. She has worked with foster, adopted, and homeless youth helping to restore their lives. She has been featured worldwide on radio shows, podcasts, news stations, and in a film called My One Christmas Wish which tells her own story of fighting to have a family. Jacqueline has a passion for teaching people to come close enough to see the story behind the scenes.