Adoption is emotional for all involved. All the members of the adoption triad have different views, opinions, and experiences; they vary greatly from one person to the next. In my lifetime I’ve heard countless negative thoughts on adoption, mostly given by folks who have had no hand in it. That is most often due to ignorance on the subject. Adoption can be complicated and at times difficult to understand.

I try not to let anti-adoption comments get to me; I remind myself that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. If given the opportunity though, I do try to educate others. There are many misconceptions about adoption and the reasons parents choose to place a child. I try to clear up any misinformation and shed light on possible motivations.

With the online world being what it is, you sometimes see the ugliest, nastiest side of people. There is a group of people I have encountered on Facebook and in forums. They believe adoption is solely about conning birth parents into giving their children, which leaves them distraught for the rest of their lives. Some feel the adoption industry is all about taking advantage of birth moms for the purpose of profit.

Adoption does have a sordid history which includes the stealing of children and the selling of babies. While there may still be some shady dealings here or there, for the most part, those days are over. Adoptions today are all about connecting those who have chosen not to parent with those who are looking for children to adopt.

When you are faced with anti-adoption comments and find there is no way to educate, you must let it go. Some people harbor such hatred and disdain in their hearts that there is nothing you can do to change their minds. All arguing will do is drag you down into their negativity. Let it go, breathe deeply, and share the love and joy associated with adoption every chance you get.


Ashley Foster is a freelance writer. She is a wife and mother of two currently residing in Florida. She loves taking trips to the beach with her husband and sons. As an infant, she was placed with a couple in a closed adoption. Ashley was raised with two sisters who were also adopted. In 2016, she was reunited with her biological family. She advocates for adoptees’ rights and DNA testing for those who are searching for family. Above all, she is thankful that she was given life. You can read her blog at //