When facing an unexpected pregnancy, there may be many people in your life whom you feel obligated to inform that you are pregnant. Depending on the relationship you have with your child’s father, telling him that you are pregnant may invoke a multitude of reactions. For this reason, it is important to gauge the situation in which you find yourself before you tell him that you are pregnant. Ensuring your safety while still being honest with the father of your child should be at the forefront of your plan before deciding how to deliver the news that you are expecting.

If you have a healthy relationship with the father of your child, it is really up to you how or when you tell him. One thing that may help determine this is whether he wants or does not want this pregnancy. If you are confident that the pregnancy will be wanted, you can search online for a host of cute ways to tell him. If the pregnancy may be unwanted, you may want to take a more direct approach. While I am typically an advocate of telling the father right away if the situation is healthy, it may also be advisable to have a general idea about your plans for the future as far as choosing to parent the child before you approach the subject. If you do not feel like you are close to a decision about what you want to do, the sooner you tell him, the better. Not only does he have a right to know, but if your relationship is healthy, he may be a great support throughout your pregnancy.

If your relationship with the father is not healthy, telling him that you are pregnant can become quite difficult. When you feel that it is time to tell him, have support around you. Do not feel that you have to go through it alone. Reach out to a loved one or friend whom you trust to help you tell the father. If you have a plan for the future, it may be best to be firm about what you want and what you plan to do. You may also choose to tell the father from a safe distance, such as via a phone call. The main aspect here is that the father is informed that you are pregnant. Anything else after that is up to you and him.

Considering adoption? Choose a family to adopt your child. Visit Parent Profiles on Adoption.com or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

Lita Jordan is a master of all things “home.” A work-from-home, stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of five. She has a BA in Youth Ministry from Spring Arbor University. She is married to the “other Michael Jordan” and lives on coffee and its unrealistic promises of productivity. Lita enjoys playing guitar and long trips to Target.