If you’ve turned to the internet with the question “How do I give up my baby for adoption?” this article can help you sort out your thoughts and find some peace of mind. If you’ve found yourself unexpectedly pregnant and you’re trying to figure out what the right thing to do is, you may be considering adoption. If that’s the case, take heart knowing you are not “giving up” your baby. You give up when something is too hard, not when you sacrifice so your child can have more. When adoption is chosen, it’s because a mother believes she can give her baby whatever is needed to succeed, placing her baby with a family who can provide what she cannot at that point in her life.
You may have searched this topic because you want to know the steps to placing your baby for adoption. Or perhaps you’re wondering how in the world you’re going to part with your child. We’ll answer both to cover all the bases, but know there are many ways to make a placement plan, and there are all kinds of emotions to sort through. You are unique, and your situation is unique; you have to choose what’s right for you. There is no right answer, so take the time to reflect on your options, look into all your resources, and then try to make the choice you find the most peace with.
When a woman first considers an adoption plan, she may do an internet search for local adoption agencies. One thing to consider is that all adoption agencies are different, and not always in a good way. Some have a reputation for being unethical. Some don’t give birth moms emotional support after placement. Some don’t educate their waiting adoptive families about openness. Research each agency in your area, and read reviews before you call them. Have a list of questions ready for when you call the agency to make sure they fit what you’re looking for. Or if you’re not sure what you’re looking for yet, ask them to tell you a little about how they operate and how things work. Have them explain the process from start to finish for you. If you don’t like what you hear, thank them, and then call another agency. You’ll soon get a better understanding of what’s available and what meets your needs.
Parent Profile Hosting Sites
Sites like ParentProfiles.com house hundreds of hopeful adoptive profiles, and they’re easy to access, giving you the ability to see the families who would love to parent your baby immediately. You can read what they’ve written and see their photos instantly. This will help you feel more comfortable with considering couples for your child. Many women find parents for their children on sites like these. Getting in touch can happen as quickly as you want. You can contact hopefuls immediately, or you can take things at your own pace and slowly review and consider your options before jumping in.
Social Media, Websites, and Blogs
Social media is a more viable way than ever to find hopeful adoptive parents. Search Facebook for “hoping to adopt” and see what you find. Other helpful terms to search include “hopeful adoptive family,” “growing our family through adoption,” “waiting adoptive family,” and “adopting.” Many hopeful adoptive families also create websites and blogs that give a lot of insight into who they are, including detailed information, photos, and messages written with you in mind.
Do an internet search for hopeful adoptive couples in your area by using the same terms you used for your Facebook search. However, include the area where you hope your child’s adoptive family will live, if that’s important to you (for example, “hoping to adopt Texas”). Ignore all the agency links; instead, look for links to websites of families looking to adopt. Many hopeful adoptive couples pay for internet ads, so also check the right-hand side of the internet search results to find similar links.
How to Cope with Parting
Open adoption is becoming more common these days, and that means you can still be connected with your child after placement. Levels of openness vary: Some birth moms only want to receive photos, while others request visits. Many adoptive families are excited about providing openness, so take time to consider what you feel is best for the child and what you can handle emotionally. Then try to find a family whose wishes align with your own. Your desires may change over time, so aim to find a family who is flexible and is willing to become more open if your relationship grows in a respectful way that is beneficial to the child you both love.
Adoption isn’t an easy option, and neither are the other options, abortion and parenting. Each comes with hardships, but many birth moms report a sense of pride in giving their child life and then making the sacrifice needed to help their child make the most of that life. If you weigh your options and decide adoption is the right choice for you, know that many women want a couple of months before delivery to become friends with the hopeful adoptive couple. A great foundation can be laid during these months, and many important conversations can happen that make forging a meaningful relationship much easier post-placement.
Most importantly, keep searching and learning like you were doing when you found this article. Learn as much as you can about adoption and the options available to you. Learn about the different types of adoption (closed, semi-open, and open) and make a list of what you want in an adoptive family if you choose to move forward. Get your questions prepared, because soon you could be on the phone with your child’s future parents, making sure that you’re doing anything but giving up—you’re just giving more.
Written by Melissa Giarrosso